how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (aZero to 36) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:24:11 GMT

Working a Roulette table with an auto mucker, a player asks "how does that thing work?" I said "we have a midget in there sorting out all the chips, the cover is so you don't see him sweat" player says "Really?"

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (DocTDealer) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 04:45:44 GMT

I am dealing Pai Gow and the floor tells me this is the last hand of the night. I am in Missouri and we close the game at 4:30am during the week A man walks up and places $50 right in the betting circle on the #2 spot. I start dealing cards and I am half way through when he tells me I wanted change. I tell him that he should have told me that when he placed his money on the table and that his $50 is in action. He is complaining and my floor walks up. I explain what happened and my floor tells...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (GeeJoon) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:23:54 GMT

This is the best one I have ever heard. A guy comes up to the came, and it's clear he's never played dice in a casino before, but he's played in a less formal enviroment. He's betting hardways and has all his bets up, takes his 20 practice throws, then throws the dice up down the table,and while they are still in the air, says "Do Over!" and then the dice land on seven, and the dealers clean up the layout.

The customer immediately protests, HEY! I said do...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (jasonsb) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:27:21 GMT

One player to another "Just bet red AND black and you'll win every time right?"

Or, when a player has nearly all his/her color of non-value chips, 200 or so, and asks "I have to go to the bathroom, can I just leave these here?" The response I like to give: "No, you have to put them in your pockets." I love seeing their eyes widen a mile to that one.

Player betting even, 0 hits. I take all outside bets. Player asks "isn't 0...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (Geffen Izlude) — Fri, 16 May 2008 22:43:26 GMT

One cabbie playing I'm empty on the other base.. young lady comes to the table and asks how much to bet the six and the eight. I say $12. she gives me a twenty ands asks for the bet. later a few others start playing and she asks me "how do you know which ones are mine?" I ask her what her name is She says "Judy." I lift up her place bet on the 6 as if I'm looking at the underside of the chip and say "this one's yours." Then she turns to her...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (appistappis) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:47:37 GMT

A guy having a pretty decent roll yesterday shouts out "I am on viagara and I am going to shoot for an hour".....well I couldn't resist and told him if he shoots for four hours he should immediately consult a physician.

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (DiceDealinDarlin) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:35:47 GMT

I had just opened up a bj table.
When an elderly gentelmen walks up to the table with a jacket on from another casino in the same state and looks at me and the dealer and asks ( is this a Black Jack table?)
Duhhh
No its roulette see the ball !

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (cardchucker) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:48:52 GMT

Guy has 5 on the line, 5 on the no... Point 5, he throws 5 in the come, 5 in the dont with 2 bucks behind the line.
I ask why he bothered making come/donts at all.
"oh, I only play true odds"

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (GeeJoon) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 12:03:55 GMT

We had this long roll for about 45 minutes, seven out. A guy says to me "I have to use the bathroom i'll be right back" So he leaves, come out on a point of 8, have a few rolls. He gets back and says "Do I have anything working out there?" I was so tempted to say "Yes sir, we took the liberty of reaching into your rack, and putting you up for 54 accross, is that ok?"

And a all time classic, just looking at a payout "Did you pay me...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (Sitellious) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:36:55 GMT

on the come out roll i say, "Hardways work unless called off!"

player says in slurred speach,"I am almost always never not working!!!"

??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (PiercedMoonyMom) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 18:45:01 GMT

He was talking more along the lines of the possibility of numbers that could hit, not the payoff. I know the guy didn't have a clue about house edge.

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (frank1004) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:13:19 GMT

Pierced- I believe you that the guy teaching his friend how to play craps actually is the typical know-it-all-but-really-knows-nothing, but in all fairness a field bet is significantly better than an any craps. Field has a lower house edge by approx 5.5% (which is huge) and if the field is paying 3 to 1 on the 12 the difference compared to an any craps is approx 8.3%.

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (GeeJoon) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:39:15 GMT

My favorites...

"How do you play war?"

or on Tiles

"is this just like dominoes?" yeah, we sit around slamming the dominoes on the table, use a piece of paper to keep score, and then settle up when we are done!

Or someone comes up to play "Is this pai gow poker?" after getting their tiles. Or if you tell them this is tiles, and they get mad at you saying "you don't think i can play this game" when they really have no idea.

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (MI dealer) — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:34:17 GMT

"Can you get the bad beat playing by yourself?"

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (MJZ 06) — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 01:04:17 GMT

"The deuce is the dealer's ace."

Cornholes.

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (Go4myown) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 20:48:36 GMT

My personal favorite is" they'l let ya do it in vegas" ,I also like "you must not like tips"

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (Uhavenoaction) — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 03:43:42 GMT

Dealing dice to a bunch of young players on a Friday nite here it the midwest, theres a couple of young girls in the group. The ditzy blonde tells me that shes "from Vegas". She puts $6 pass line odds on a point of 8. She yells at her friend to add a $1 to her odds to make it $6. I tell her that you dont need the $1, just make it $5 for proper odds. She says, "oh, ok". I ask her jokingly, "I thought you were from Vegas"? The blonde says, "Yeah, but I...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (OKcardslinger) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:03:27 GMT

Dealing Poker, I push a player a decent sixed pot and he says thank you but stiffs me. I've never seen him before and dont know if he's just cheap or doesn;t understand "live" poker versus online poker.

A few hands later 6 people call pre flop, there's $12 in the pot.

Flop is A,7,7 rainbow

stiff player is first to act and bets $20, into this same $12 pot.

everyone folds and the genius turns over his hand A,7

Anotehr player says "nice bet"...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (PiercedMoonyMom) — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 19:35:41 GMT

I was listening to a guy teaching his friend to play craps yesterday. He acted like he knew what he was doing, talking all official-like and telling his friend what to bet on. When his friend asked him why he'd gotten paid what he'd been paid on his come bet he said "I don't know, I just take what they give me". Then when his friend tried to put up a crap check on a come-out roll he took the chip out of his friend's hand and threw a red one on the field, saying "that's a...

Re: how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (Uhavenoaction) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 03:48:35 GMT

I get this one alot on Friday and Saturday nights at the dice table.

A group of young guys that think they know what they are doing, telling each other how to play, and trying to sound cool....seven out rolls, I start to take the line and clean up...the smart guys say, "Hey what happened??"

Ummm, if I am taking ALL the money, that a definate indication.

Get a fvcking roll!

how may "stupid player quotes" can we get?

feeds@yuku.com (sevenout11) — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 14:08:04 GMT

I know over the years, i have heard some good ones from every type of player out there.....and the rest of you im sure have some whoppers too. I will start this with one of my favorites and see how many we can get here....

Approaching a dice game, with players on both ends, money in the layout, and dice flying through the air, this moron asks, and i quote, "Hey, is this game open?"